Take Only What You Need To Survive...

It's now 3am NYC time. Chris has long passed out of exhaustion, but I have a deadly combination of insomnia, creativity, Santa fever, and London fever that I cannot cure with any medicine. My family can attest to my over-excitement of Christmas because sleep is not an option. Thus, this stream-of-consciousness post that is about to occur.

Chris is like a little kid waiting for Santa with this trip...except he can sleep. I told him that the best way to get through timezones is to not sleep for as long as possible and go to bed early on the new time. This has helped me adjust very quickly to London and Hawaii and any other timezone that I have been to. Anyway, Chris and I are sharing a suitcase. One suitcase. He has tried not to take up much room in the suitcase, but I am a woman. Any space is not enough space for me. But I love him, and I understand that sharing is caring, etc. Also,  having moved to and from London by myself, I am sure as hell not bringing more than I need. We will have a washer, so technically this should help me even more with not bringing much, but....two weeks? Recycle outfits? The thought is beyond comprehension. And because Chris left me to stay up and pack, he will now have not say in what I throw in this suitcase. Still trying to figure out shoes because of my continuous healing process on the top of my foot.

Books. Another soft spot. Every vacation I bring them as a safety blanket against my ongoing fight of boredom. I never read them, but they feel better when I pack them. Everyone keeps saying---kindle, I know. Eventually, if I can ever get over paper and the importance and sacredness of the printed word then I shall convert. Right now, I don't even want to own one because the minute I get one, part of my soul will be sold. Will write more on this in a later post.

I have managed to get everything (including toiletries) down to the bare essentials, except for the shoes. These two clips from The Jerk and Spaceballs sums up my packing capabilities and what I deem as 'essential'.

Ah yes, 'essential' to me is vastly different than others. I am proud that I have successfully vetoed three rounds and have narrowed it down to my essentials....with matching accessories...and jewellery...and purses. I need to look fabulous and any moment or mood could strike me.

Well, I should try and get an hour of sleep. Will write more in a few hours.....London is less than 24 hours from happening....and Christmas.......probably not going to sleep now!

Cheers,

Jess

YOU SOUND LIKE YOU'RE FROM LONDON!

If you haven't heard by now, Christopher and I are traveling to London over the holidays! Chris has never been to Europe and he's turning the big 3-0 on December 26th.  Being with my family during Christmas has been very special to me and because Chris's family resides in Jersey and mine in Minnesota and Michigan, I was trying to figure out how make everyone happy.  One of my best friends lives in London still and so we are staying in her flat while she goes home back to Canada. We've been toying with the idea of us traveling together to see my favorite city in the world, but this seemed to perfect to pass up. Abroad! Christmas! New Years! AWESOME! 

Chris and I have been slaving away at planning this trip extensively as we only have a few precious days to see EVERYTHING. It is my goal to make sure that he gets to see a good combination of the touristy things and the locals-only things. I pride myself in showing people around my home away from home, but 14 days?! We had to plan careful.

We will be celebrating his birthday and Christmas in London. We also have a few day trips to Stratford- Upon-Avon, Bath, and Stonehenge. Then we will hit Paris for a few days after the New Year. I cannot tell you how amazing this all is going to be! 

For New Years Eve, we have booked a 20's themed costume party in Camden and then we will see the fireworks display. Below is last year's kick ass display. 

Please let me know of any recommendations that you have in any of the above places we will see. I lived there for two years and have my favorites, but Chris and I both love to explore new places and experience new things! Comment here, twitter, or on my Facebook.

Cheerio Chaps!

The Ex Factor

The Ex's. We all have the loves and the heartbreaks. They are never easy, always messy, and an emotional roller coaster.

Quite recently, one of my ex-boyfriends tried to creep on me via linkedin.com. Unfortunately for him, Linkedin tells you who has visited your profile. It made me sick to my stomach because he was about to be married to someone else. Not cool in my opinion. Therefore, I have dedicated this blog to the ex's.

Sex and the City brought up the topic of ex-boyfriends. Can you be friends with an ex? When it comes to this topic, I fall more under the Miranda way of thinking:

 Miranda: I would love to be one of those people who's all: 'We Ioved, thank you. You enriched my Iife. Now, go, prosper.' I'm much more: 'We didn't work out, you need to not exist.'

Personally, I don't believe that someone can just be friends with their ex until a SIGNIFICANT chunk of time has passed. I have witnessed many relationships, and so far I have never been proven wrong on my When Harry Met Sally/Sex and the City mentality. 

Men and Women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way

Here's my opinion....It doesn't matter who broke up with whom, you can't be friends with an ex-boyfriend. Especially not right away. The relationship that you have with someone struggles with the new status, and oftentimes the two people who could have been friends later (after time had healed wounds) end up re-breaking up and never talking to the other person again. The 're-break' is 90x worse than the first break-up because someone feels suffocated and trapped while the other can't let go of memories and the past. It's not fair for either person in the end. 

Also, ex's lurking about will never sit well for new boyfriends and girlfriends. This is also best explained in When Harry Met Sally.

Harry: they can't be friends. Unless both of them are involved with other people, then they can... This is an amendment to the earlier rule. If the two people are in relationships, the pressure of possible involvement is lifted... That doesn't work either, because what happens then is, the person you're involved with can't understand why you need to be friends with the person you're just friends with. Like it means something is missing from the relationship and why do you have to go outside to get it? And when you say "No, no, no, no, it's not true, nothing is missing from the relationship," the person you're involved with then accuses you of being secretly attracted to the person you're just friends with, which you probably are. I mean, come on, who the hell are we kidding, let's face it. Which brings us back to the earlier rule before the amendment, which is men and women can't be friends.

Ex's--I cannot and will not be friends with you; ESPECIALLY if you broke my heart. I don't keep my ex's around on facebook or let anyone close to my ex know how miserable I may be. If you broke up with me, it will become my personal goal to make you wish you hadn't. Thus, no miserable facebook statuses, no personal blog posts, no texting, no calling and no emailing. You will be cut off. Trust me, it is for the best overall. I want my ex to think that I am doing better than he will. Selfish? Maybe...Immature? Probably....Vindictive? ABSOLUTELY! I refuse to let the ex know what I'm doing so that they will always be thinking of me. Plus, the ex chose to not be in my life anymore, so why would they get to check up on me or see who I'm dating? What do you think? Should ex's stick around? 

And now for some Idiot Boyfriend--Jimmy Fallon

Decisions....

I came across this article written by Lauren Conrad about the pressures that single women feel especially at a certain age or time in people's lives. I thought it was pertinent and not discussed as frequently as other topics because I think women are afraid of going against the grain or choosing decisions in their lives that could cause judgement or scrutiny. I  also have been tempted several times to post certain things on my Facebook and Twitter that I know would cause backlash because I think differently than other women. If you are already feeling insulted by this post, please do not keep reading. I am by no means judging or insinuating that women are settling for life decisions because everyone else is making them at that time or stating that you made any wrong decision for you. If you get any vibe of that from this post, then you are immature.

I always felt like an alien in my town. Like I was an outcast or a freak for wanting different things at different times than that of my peers. While the people I grew up with liked the idea of weddings and babies and houses in Michigan, I longed for adventure and education. I longed for new experiences and culture. I wanted to challenge myself and be independent. I knew that none of these things would be possible if I were to stay in Michigan my entire life.

And so I've traveled. I've experienced new cultures. I have lived out of my comfort zone and have proved to myself and others that I am independent. It has been at the cost of some things like a 1st love or my mental health, but I wouldn't have been happy any other way.

For me, for my life, right now or in the foreseeable future, I do not want kids. I do not think that I am ready (if ever) to have someone's lives in my hands. I do admire those who love kids and have kids and am fascinated by how they accept and embrace that decision, but I feel like a weirdo. Having kids is a lifetime commitment and I do not want that. I want to be able to travel and see the world with someone and not worry about kids. However, I cannot go onto social media and speak of my feelings of children because I get attacked by moms who think I am the antichrist for my thoughts about children. I ran across this postsecret a few months ago and finally feel good about sharing it here.

This may seem off topic, but here is the overall reason why this makes sense with what I am trying to say.  Even though I know that I am making the right life choices for me (and have up till now), I can't help but slightly worry or long for those things. When I get invited to weddings and showers and see the people I grew up with taking the next steps in their life, I am somewhat jealous and somewhat panicky that I might be missing out on something. This is where the Lauren Conrad article makes me feel at ease:

"One thing to keep in mind while you are attending weddings, showers and other events celebrating your friends' relationships is that these aren't things you are missing out on. They are things you have to look forward to. I was in a similar place last year. Twenty-five, newly single and helping one of my best friends plan her wedding, so I know how it can feel."

And for those people who have invested in a relationship and it didn't work out, Conrad also shares this advice:

"It can be hard to feel like you have to start from scratch when you have invested so much time with a person, but shortly after my break up I realized something: I wasn't losing the chance to have love — I was getting the opportunity to do it all over again."

Be sure of yourself and the decisions that you are making and don't get down on yourself that you are taking a different path in life. Be thankful for the heartbreaks because they are opportunities for learning and self-discovery. Stop convincing yourself that you are wrong to not want other things when everyone else wants them and start accepting who you really are. Once you do this, the pressure is lifted and you can learn to truly know/love yourself and it leaves the opportunity to find love again--permanent or temporary.