I was 16 and I had just got my first job as a hostess at the Family Inn diner in Wells, Michigan. I loved my job: seating people, making milkshakes, talking to the regulars who sat at the counter and teased me.
Dolores was the typical crotchety old lady you find at most diners. She was about a million years old and very frail and sometimes I would worry that she would die on her shift in front of me. She didn't like me at first because any young person she felt threatened her job. She would sit in the back booth and chain smoke between taking orders and bringing out food. I desperately wanted everyone on the planet to like me at this time in my life, so I bent over backwards for her. I would do her side duties like wrap silverware, clean booths, run her food, and stay late to help her close. Eventually I won her over and we worked very well together. She was very sweet if people bothered to get to know her and she looked after me as a mother would look after her child.
It was a Sunday night. Sunday nights were notorious for being extremely slow because the rush of Sunday morning brunch was over. We typically would have the regulars come in, a few families for the Sunday night "Family Chicken Special," and truckers who were desperate to have a conversation about anything other than the road. I never minded working Sunday nights because after working the weekend morning shifts, it was a quite peaceful way to end your working weekend. I also was paid by the hour versus Dolores who worked off tips, so for me it was easy money. The diner was pretty dead quite. The last regular paid for his coffee and made a joke he always made thinking that I had never heard it before. I cashed him out and smiled out of kindness at the joke that had gotten old 5 months prior. Dolores was sitting in the last booth, smoking and counting her tips.
Across the highway sat a row of hotels. As I cleaned off the booth and started my chores for closing time pre-maturely, I happened to see a tour bus at the Days Inn. A sea of grey hair poured out of the tour bus and into the parking lot across the highway. I wondered what they were on the tour bus for as this part of town didn't really have anything to look at. Just then, one by one they stumbled and started walking across the highway, headed straight for our diner. It was like a bad re-enactment of Dawn of the Dead. There were at least 80 of them dodging cars, falling into each other, stumbling towards the diner. I panicked. It was just me, Dolores, one cook, and one dishwasher on staff. In no way could we feed these people with such limited staff. I ran over to Dolores and screamed, "There are 100 people coming to the restaurant right now!" Dolores was on her feet in a matter of seconds as we both looked out the window at the scary scene.
I quickly ran and told the cook, Tammy, to call everyone to get back up and frantically put all of the menus on the table and started getting waters ready. We didn't have enough menus or glasses to cover this kind of sporadic event. The grey zombies got closer and closer. I was worried that the excitement of it all might kill Dolores and I didn't know how to take an order. I was very, very concerned. They flooded into the restaurant and took up every seat. I braced myself, took a deep breath, grabbed my notepad and walked to the first table.
"Hi, welcome to Family Inn. Would you like something to drink? Coffee? Iced Tea?" They just stared at me. I was bewildered. Maybe they couldn't hear me because of the rush? I repeated myself, a bit louder. Again, they just looked at me. They started pointing at a menu and writing things down, which I couldn't read. It took me a moment, but I realized that all of the people in the restaurant were deaf. I glanced back at Dolores who was staring back at me in terror. How was I to serve all these people without knowing sign language?!
I had done 2 years of acting in plays at this point in my life, so I stretched my limbs and prepared for my best charade/ improv moves. Using my arms and legs and facial expressions, I acted out coffee, tea, milkshakes, paying close attention to mouth everything out slowly. I was also shouting in case some of them could hear me. I slowly got all of their drink orders after close to an hour, and I really had found my groove. I was bussing tables, running food, cashing people out, even taking a few orders (incorrectly). There wasn't a moment in that evening where I wasn't doing 5 things at the same time or not running around the restaurant. The people kept coming in and leaving and my acting and shouting had been perfected. I glanced around the restaurant after about 2 hours and there was a group of 4 people sitting at a booth staring back at me. I couldn't believe that I had missed them!!!
I ran over and shouted, "HI! CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING TO DRINK?!!!! COFFEE? ICED TEA?" whilst proceeding to pour myself and get really hot to symbolize coffee. I then made a milk shake and acted out drinking it and being refreshed. They stared at me without blinking. I was confused as this had been working all night. I repeated, "CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING TO DRINK?!!!!" and made the motion of drinking with my hands. The man looked at his family and then leaned over to me and said, "Uhh....we'll start out with 4 waters, please." I WAS MORTIFIED! THEY WEREN'T DEAF!!! I must of looked like the biggest idiot in the world! This was perhaps one of the most embarrassing moments of my life up until that point.
That night changed my life. I can no longer look at old people quite the same way again because I just picture them as zombies crossing a highway to eat...something...or someone? I also will never live down my embarrassment for shouting at a table and acting out beverages. The best part of it all? I now DOMINATE Charades. Bring it on!!!
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